💨 Abstract

The author recounts a first date where a man bluntly asked, "Can you have sex?" at 18, highlighting the challenges of dating as a disabled person. Despite being raised to ignore ableist comments, the stigma and ignorance she faced—from fetishization to dismissive advice—proved disheartening. Over time, she learned to advocate for herself, rejecting unhelpful platitudes like "stay positive."

Courtesy: Melissa Parker